Comment from Carmen
Time: October 17, 2008, 8:30 am

Best. advice. ever.

I sure do wish I had heard this advice 13 years ago…before it was too late!

Comment from Moderndayhermit
Time: October 17, 2008, 8:36 am

Also, to append that advice - marry someone who is willing to stick up for you in case his Mom (ahem)…parents…is/are jerks.

Comment from Nowheymama
Time: October 17, 2008, 8:43 am

Oh, Swistle. I think your life is bleeding into your work a bit more than usual. We’re thinking of you!

Comment from Melinda
Time: October 17, 2008, 8:49 am

Oh man…when does the MIL go home? Hang in there. And you’re right. The relationship with the in-laws does indeed matter.

Comment from Cass
Time: October 17, 2008, 9:31 am

Oh Swistle where were you 5 years ago when I needed this to be screamed into my ear on repeat? I remember last year (was it last year already) when you had to buy special dishes…hoping for a quick departure!

Comment from marilyn
Time: October 17, 2008, 9:39 am

Aw, you’re going to deserve so many weekend naptimes and chocolates when this is though. (The chocolates you can start now.)

I hope you’re writing down some of the atrocious things she says and does to share with us — they are like those really inappropriate jokes that make you cringe and be shocked that such a thing could be.

Comment from erin
Time: October 17, 2008, 9:56 am

OH this is SO FUNNY. But not in a laughing-at-you way! Because I really, seriously feel for you. But dang girl. $hit’s FUNNY.

Comment from susie
Time: October 17, 2008, 10:46 am

I would add, if you can’t find an orphan or someone whose family you get along great with, families that live FAR, FAR AWAY are also a good option.

Comment from Jenny
Time: October 17, 2008, 12:14 pm

Dang. I’d offer to mail the mint chip brownies I made last night but [this is embarrassing] I burned them. They are still tasty, if biscotti-like, even, and I’m still eating them [more embarrassing].

If you want an army of angry fans to escort a certain someone from your home, well, you know where to find us.

Comment from Jenna
Time: October 17, 2008, 12:55 pm

So funny! And true. (Hang in there! One day at a time!)

Someone told me when I was dating a guy who’s family hated me (and I’m not even close to perfect but I’m actually pretty hard to HATE) that I should think about the whole package when considering the long term relationship potential.

I dumped him a few months later.

When I met my husband, I was eager to meet his family and paid close attention to the way they all treated each other and talked about and to each other. I knew we had potential because I really liked his family.

Comment from Dynamita
Time: October 17, 2008, 12:59 pm

Oh Honey, I feel for you. Hugs from here.

Comment from Jennifer
Time: October 17, 2008, 1:08 pm

HMOG, is it mother-in-law time? I’ve been out off the grid but I remember that she was supposed to visit. I think there’s a third category worth mentioning: a spouse who is still be-parented but who is not particularly interested in seeing his/her family all that often. I ADORE my mother-in-law but I can only take her in small doses. Mercifully she usually picks NASCAR road trips over having anything to do with us. SCORE.

Comment from Hillary
Time: October 17, 2008, 1:56 pm

Oh, I wondered how you were faring with the MIL in town. Good luck.

I absolutely agree with this advice and moderndayhermit’s addendum that, if you must marry into a nasty situation, you should find someone willing to stick up for you.

My husband decided to put his foot down this year and tell his parents they could not stay with us for multiple (!!!) weeks at Christmas. That’s all well and good, but now I’m trying to teach him that when he puts his foot down, I am not the foot — he actually has to follow through with it. Geez. It never ends.

Comment from April
Time: October 17, 2008, 10:24 pm

Oh, man. This is so true. My ex-mother-in-law and I did not get along. She and my ex-husband didn’t get along either, but that’s another story.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: October 18, 2008, 5:42 pm

My advice has an amendment.

Not just an orphan. An orphaned ONLY CHILD.

Comment from cindy
Time: October 20, 2008, 6:25 pm

OK, I have to speak up. As someone who married an orphan, essentially, (his mother died in an accident when he was 16, and his bio-dad is out of the picture) I wish LIKE HELL that I had a MIL to bitch about. My children will never know their paternal grandmother. My in-laws are a fantastic group of people, and they try, but still, they aren’t going to drop everything and come help out when we have a baby, like his mother would have.

The grass is always greener, right?

Comment from Swistle
Time: October 20, 2008, 6:43 pm

Comment from Lisa- Domestic Accident
Time: October 21, 2008, 9:54 am

Cindy- having a MIL doesn’t guarantee help when you have a baby. I had 3. Mine never so much as dropped off a meal. Thankfully, I have a great group of friends who stepped in.

Comment from samantha jo campen
Time: October 21, 2008, 11:26 am

Oh Swistle, I hope this time goes by QUICKLY! Thinking of you!

Comment from Holly
Time: October 21, 2008, 5:15 pm

this is so completely true that i am currently engaged to and in the process of marrying the ONLY guy i’ve ever dated whose family likes me (i like him quite a lot too, not marrying him just for his family.) (also, exes families didn’t like me for dumb reasons, am not some kind of horrible witch.)

I’m sending good thoughts your way!!! Agree wholeheartedly with all the suggestions that you eat chocolate!

Comment from KB
Time: October 25, 2008, 3:10 pm

That advice is SO TRUE. Singles/involved/engaged: TAKE HEED.

Also true is that you must have a spouse who sticks up for you, completely, in the face of assault (in whatever shape it takes) from his/her family.

Comment from Adrienne
Time: October 25, 2008, 8:31 pm

This is so funny. I’ve decided that I want my son to marry an orphan, so that he can still spend Christmases with us, and not have to go to his in-laws’ house.

Comment from Becca
Time: October 25, 2008, 9:05 pm

Having had the genius to marry an orphan, I must say that it might also have been recommended to make sure the orphan doesn’t have siblings or offspring of his own! I love my step-kids, but they do complicate things and don’t get me started on my brothers/sisters-in law! Loved your post!