“I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug.”

So opens Warren Ellis’s debut novel “Crooked Little Vein“, which happily arrived on my doorstop from Amazon a couple days ago.

Ellis is probably my favorite comic book author, having written such gems as Transmetropolitan, Global Frequency, and Desolation Jones. His stories are captivating, hilarious, and chock-filled with delicious, eye-burningly offensive language.

The man definitely has a way with words—behold his response during an interview with Publisher’s Weekly:

PWCW: You’ve devoted a lot of time in your blogs, columns and journals to the discussion of structure in comics writing. How well did your experience with the comic book medium transfer to the process of writing a novel?

WE: Oh, God, not at all. The peculiar method one evolves for writing comics—a complex, hybrid medium—are almost completely worthless for novels. It’s like asking someone how learning to sex turkeys prepares them for horse riding dressage. The only point of reference is that they both involve doing something strange and unsightly to an animal.

I just started Crooked Little Vein and it’s reaffirming my undying Ellis-love. Check out the first chapter here.

Ballpark price: $15
Link: Crooked Little Vein on Amazon