I’m having a little bit of a hard time dealing with the fact that Thanksgiving is right around the corner, because dear god that means Christmas is coming and aaaaiiiiiieeeee. HOW is it almost DECEMBER, my GOD. I am not ready to start decking the flipping halls just yet, dammit.

(Although can I just say that these are the most awesome tree ornaments I have EVER SEEN EVER and I want them RIGHT NOW?)

Well, my own neuroses aside, I have a very good, simple, and holiday-appropriate recipe to share. I am not a huge fan of cranberries and cranberry-flavored items (the…juice? HORK) but I do like this chutney quite a bit. It makes a nice fancy addition to your table, especially if you place it in a pretty glass bowl right next to the plate that contains the canned stuff. You know, the ubiquitous cranberry dogfood-shaped gelatinous cylinder that just lies there, quivering slightly, with the rings still in it from the can.

Here’s what you’ll need:

• 1 cup water
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 (12 ounce) package fresh cranberries
• 1 cup apples - peeled, cored and diced
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves

Here’s what you do:

Combine the water and sugar in a medium saucepan, and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Add the cranberries, apples, cider vinegar, raisins and spices. Bring back to a boil, then simmer gently for 10 minutes while stirring often.

Pour the mixture into a bowl, and place plastic wrap directly on the surface of the sauce. Cool to room temperature and serve or cover and refrigerate. If you like, bring the chutney to room temperature before serving.

You could probably cut back the vinegar if you dislike it, and if I remember correctly that “10 minutes” of simmering is malleable - just cook until it seems like the consistency you want. If it’s not sweet enough some brown sugar wouldn’t kill anyone, but I like the tartness of it.

If you end up thinking it’s pretty good stuff, this would make a nice little gifty thing all packaged in a jar. No one would have to know how easy it was, either. You could label it “chutney gastronome de canneberge” and insist that it be served with pheasant.