The other day I bought a large bottle of the Simple Pleasures Vanilla & Lavender detergent I liked so much and after running a load of laundry I thought, hey….WTF? It didn’t smell anything like I had remembered it. It smelled nice enough, but it smelled…exactly like soap. Not vanilla, not lavender, just soap.
Oddly enough, […]

I often find that my many, many bucketloads of priceless jewels can become a tad dull after a hard day of sifting through thousand-dollar bills. And it’s so difficult to find good help these days, don’t you agree? My last manservant left in a huff, after I had merely asked him to hand-polish my collection […]

There are many reasons not to splurge on toddler-sized socks. For one thing, children have freakish superhuman abilities to outgrow clothing items between the time you leave the store and when you pull into your driveway. Also, if your toddler is anything like the little anklebiter who lives in MY house, the socks will only […]

I don’t see very many commercials these days since we record all our TV shows on the DVR, then fast-forward through the ads. However, the other day I actually made JB stop and rewind a Mr. Clean ad, which is one of the more pathetic things I’ve ever had to admit. No, wait, this is: […]

#2: wrote lengthy longhand list of “friends”; “de-friended” each by means of vigorous horizontal pen strokes
Go forth and laugh.
I [heart] Merlin’s 5ives.